I went to the moon this summer. At least that’s what my mum called it. In actual fact, I went to Fuerteventura, which is supposedly the oldest of the Canary Islands. I’ve only consulted Wikipedia and I haven’t fact-checked, so don’t quote me on that.
We stayed at an all-inclusive hotel in Pájara, so I drank a lot of beer, which some might say was a bad decision given the fact that I was to spend a week in a bikini, but what did I care? I had nobody to impress. I didn’t even bother bringing a razor. It was actually an accident that I didn’t bring a razor, but I managed.
Right, enough about me, let me talk a bit about the island.
There were penises everywhere. I thought mainstream media was bad for bombarding us with phallic symbols day in and day out, but they were (if possible) even less subtle about it in Fuerteventura. We saw these fabulous bottle openers everywhere we looked. You could not leave the hotel and not stumble upon these bad boys. You could even get different shapes and sizes. Talk about dual function (har har har).
We went snorkelling one day, but it was a total bust. It was too windy, so there were no fish worth talking about. Besides, I only took GoPro videos and I can’t be bothered trying to sort through an hour’s worth of clips of somewhat blue-looking water just to see if I can find a fish that might or might not be identifiable. Forgive my laziness.
Far more interesting is the fact that my roommate and I decided to become mountain climbers. We’d actually spoken about it before heading off to the island, so we were pretty determined to find a mountain and climb it. Luck had it that the hotel was right next to one, so we decided just to go for that one.
We climbed it twice (first time because we wanted to climb it, second time because we really didn’t want to go for a run). On the first day, we saw one of my favourite sights of the holiday: a rolling white cloud that made it look like there was an avalanche in this volcanic landscape where the record low (in temperature, ever) was 8°C.
The second day was clearer and we knew what the view was like, so we focused on getting some panorama shots. WordPress doesn’t seem to want the same things as I do when it comes to panorama photos, so here’s a photo where I’m not quite centred. I’m gonna have to move on quickly because it bothers me a lot.
Last, but not least, let’s have a look at this completely genuine photo of me climbing a rock. Hummel should really be giving me product placement money. As should Garmin, Nike, and Asics, but I feel like that’s asking a bit much of the universe.
I was prepared to climb to the top, but my mum was busy shouting “Catrine! Pretend you’re falling!” and I couldn’t help but smile. So surely, what we can all agree on is that modelling and/or acting is definitely not for me because look at this:
I didn’t take a lot of photos because I was too busy trying to get a tan without getting a sunburn as well. That essentially meant covering myself in different SPF sunscreens (we’re talking face 30, stomach 20, legs 15) and lounging about from 10am until 1pm before heading off to lunch and then to the shade from 2pm until 4pm. I read a total of three books while I was there, just to pass the time and you know what? IT WORKED.
I’ve never been the kind of person to get an insane tan from lounging about for a week, so the fact that you can even see my tan line in this shameless selfie is a VICTORY.
I’ve said a lot about a holiday where we didn’t do much. I could go on about the hotel and the fact that there was only WiFi in the lobby, but that’s just not interesting. Shout out to my parents for bringing me on holiday with them even though I spend more time writing blog posts than I do cleaning their house.